If you had told me when they handed me that little baby, that he would test me beyond what I ever thought I could take. The highs and lows of emotional stress that would come with trying to parent him. The tears and joy that he would bring to our family. The frusteration for us both. I might have run. There are still moments I mentally run away. Hide my head in the sand and raise the white flag. I have no idea how to parent him, Lord. No clue. He is beyond my knowledge and understanding. I don't know why he does these things and is so unreasonable. I don't know what I am going to do to fix it.
But I have to trust that I am not supposed too. I must have needed some serious humbling. Because here I am, unable to parent on my own expertise or knowledge. Unable to understand the solution. Waiting and asking that it be shown to me. And it may have to be painfully obvious. The only one more stubborn than him, is me.